:: nance :: ..... :::: :: ... ::::::::: .. ::::: : ::: ....:

++++ NEWS++++

2008-05-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

There will be a performance of my trio, Constancy for violin, cello, and piano, on May 13th, 8pm, at Cal State Hayward. For more info, click here

To read updated blog entries, please visit my NEW WEBSITE at:
www.nancyscho.com

thanks!!

This Site Has MOVED

2008-04-01T23:03:00.001-07:00

This blog has moved to a different site. Please go to:

www.nancyscho.com

Thanks for visiting!!!

The Pedaler

2008-03-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

After lunch, B and I walked across the street to The Pedaler in El Sobrante. (It's right next to Tandoori Chicken USA... best sandwiches ever.) When you walk in, there had to be hundreds of bikes on the sales floor alone. I'm not a huge bike rider, but I would like to get a bike to go out on sometimes. So, my dilemna is price. How much should I spend on a bike that I won't ride all the time? We have an old Schwinn that I love, but it's old, heavy, and has one gear. Another thing, I hate riding bikes where there are a ton of cars, and since we have little to none bike lanes around our neighborhood, it's a little sketchy. This would definitely be a recreational thing, and not a go out and run errands thing.

At any rate, we were walking around, and I spotted a bike that I was super attracted to. A gentleman asked us if we needed help, and I asked how much this one was. Well, it was way over my budget. But he stayed and helped us out and told us what other options were available. Super nice, super friendly, not pushy, and really knew everything about bikes. I mean, just looking at him, you KNOW this guy LIVES bikes. I told him that I probably wouldn't ride it a lot, and that it would be a weekend type thing, and as a true cyclist would respond, "yet." I've decided that I will be purchasing my bike there... just gotta test ride and get over pricetags.

This morning, I was browsing through my gym's website to see what classes they have this month. I clicked on a link and up comes a picture of a kayaker and a cyclist. I thought, "huh, I wonder if that guy is...." I read the blurb, and looked up his name on Google, and there he was. A 3 time U.S. Pro Cycling Champion. And I thought, "what a cool dude."

And then I thought that if this guy was a composer, he would've been a jerk. As D would say... BOOOOOOURNS. I totally rip on my own kind.

Go check out the Pedaler in El Sobrante.

A Lot Can Happen in 5 Years

2008-03-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

I received this 5 Year Diary as a gift from my friend Meg a while back, and it's one of those things where I like it so much that I don't want to use it. Meaning, I don't want to ruin its pristine condition. But, realizing how silly that could be, I decided to write my first entry yesterday. There are only 6 lines for each day, so it's less daunting and easy to keep up with. Then 5 years from that date, I can see what I was doing each year. Pretty nifty, and a terrific gift!

The artist is Tamara Shopsin, and you can find info
at *The Ice Plant*.

Metro Dog

2008-03-25T09:54:00.001-07:00

Nigel has had two sessions with his private trainer, Alison Smith at *Metro Dog *. B and I also call her the family therapist. We've been going to her because we're addressing Nigel's fear issues. He's a little dog that we treated like a big dog. Who knew? I guess that being around big dogs growing up, I just thought that they were the same. I guess I never realized the obvious.... he's little... like 9 pounds little.

We've learned a lot, but here's some things that we have to do now....

+ No crazy kids can pick him up. Only if he is 100% comfortable.
+ No crazy adults can pick him up. Only if he is 100% comfortable.
+ People who like dogs, want dogs to like them. That's a people issue. Protect Nigel over insecure dog people.
+ Need to protect and not put Nigel in situations he doesn't want to be in so that he can trust us.
+ When people give him his space, he can suss them out and decide if he likes them.
+ Face to face contact is a human thing that we force upon dogs. Face to face contact for dogs is confrontational.
+ I nurture him too much.
+ Sniffing a lot is a fear thing.
+ Marking territory everywhere on walks is a fear thing.
+ Ears forward and stiffness when seeing another dog is a fear thing.

ain't nothin' but a fear thing, baby. So, is this worth it? YES. Alison is awesome, and Metro Dog is the bomb. We learned that Nigel will never be the type of dog that will be super social, and we have to accept that. But hopefully, he'll gain some more confidence... one day at a time.

A Sad Dresser

2008-03-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

B bought a dresser a couple years ago off of Craigslist for $20. It was painted black, had big, fat, wood knobs that were painted black, and it just looked gloomy. It was the black abyss that I just dealt with because it was hidden in our bedroom. But its ugliness attracted more ugliness. The junk attracted more junk. Below, is the only picture I could find of it. Ignore the crazy man trying on the wetsuit. The dresser is behind him.

So, we painted it white in semi-gloss, to repel stains and easy clean-up. Took the clutter and junk away, and will slowly add more appealing items. Now when I look over there, it looks brighter and the room looks bigger. I love projects like this.

Projects Other Than

2008-03-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm gearing up for my final graduate exams, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and foresee a life ahead of me. We had a quite a busy weekend, and am glad that I get to sit down and write a little before bedtime. Bedtime for me is early because I'm THAT much of a party animal these days.

Project One: painting old dresser that B found for $20 on *Craigslist*. It was black, and now we're painting it white, and adding cheap hardware.

Project Two: a website that will have a list of my compositions, (short list, but growing), some audio, and the ol' blog.

Project Three: redesigning our bedroom. I don't know what happened, but it is a nightmare. I designer's nightmare. Something must be done, and I need help.

Project Four: after the nest is settled, start writing my symphony.

There are more, but these are the ones that stick out in my mind the most.

D posted a couple pics of our dad's 60th celebration. Check out her blog creation, *Watch Cho'self*. I also encourage you to read her bf's Yelp reviews, for some good reading material. He's hilarious, but don't tell the guy I said that. He gives me crap all the time.

Weekend Eatery Perks:
1. Went to *Pauline's Pizza* in the Mission for a b-day thing. Great for large groups, and I still think the pesto pizza is the best out of all the pies. Service was a little slow, but the waitress was nice. It was super busy, so whatever.

2. Ate BOMB cupcakes from one of my favorite bakeries, *Love at First Bite* in North Berkeley. I remember finding them on Craigslist and going to their opening day. It was definitely true love.

3. Went to lunch with Lisa and Anh-Minh at 900 Grayson. The Cob Salad, is not good for you, but good to eat. The Sorry Charlie is my favorite, and the Ladyboy is awesome. And if you want a good burger, eat it here.

Um, we went to two other places, but I feel a little weird now that I ate out so much in three days.

more on Musica delle Donne

2008-03-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

Wow. I'm on a roll today! I guess I have a lot to talk about, and not enough people to talk about it to? Ha! Well, I wrote the previous post on *Musica delle Donne* the next morning before I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. So now that I have some time to breathe today, there's no stopping me.

This was the third year where I've had something performed at this concert series. This is also my third year as a composition student. So, it's been great having pieces performed. Probably easier to get things performed as a college student, so I'm glad I've had the opportunity.

The third movement (wow, thirds are the theme here....) of my trio, Constancy, was performed by three wonderful musicians. There were some mishaps, but with the very short time this was put together, this was expected. Especially since one wrong note in the third movement can easily throw everything off. I also was not able to attend a rehearsal, so this performance was all a surprise for me. But in the end, a good surprise.

As said earlier, I don't really remember much of the performance. I sat in my seat all nervous and tense the entire time. (Can I also mention that I hate standing up to bow? Yeah, I do.) It was fun to hear what other people thought of it. People asked if I was influenced or listening to J.Adams, P.Glass, S.Reich, and even some Copeland. I didn't respond because I was more intrigued and surprised to hear other people's thoughts. In actuality, I rarely listen to the works of those composers.... I know, I'm bad. As I recall, I think I was listening to a lot of Shostakovich, Stravinsky, and Interpol. Not much of that went into the piece, but now I wonder how much I was influenced by it. But, there was one section that I paid hommage to Interpol. My husband was the only person who heard the Interpol influence, and I was very, very, very proud of him. A gentleman who attended the concert asked me if I was writing anything at the moment. I am not, but then I got all excited about what the next project would be. hmmmm....

A student almuna composer, *Jessica Rugani*, had her piece, "When My Sorrow was Born" performed. I enjoyed this piece, and thought that it was quite different from the other pieces I've heard from her. Although, I haven't heard all of her pieces, so I don't take my word for it. But I think the special thing about this piece was that to me, it was grounded and solid.

A piano piece by Chen Yi was performed. I did not really get the piece. Or maybe I just wasn't in to it as much. B didn't get it either. Sometimes when you walk away from a piece like that and it's sad that it can easily be forgettable.

The other piece that stuck out for me was the Mary-Lou Williams piece. I think it also stuck out in my mind because I just heard a thing on her on NPR the other day. Unfortunately, I could not attend the second concert the next evening. I hope that this series continues at the CSUH music department since IG is going off to get her PhD(.... go girl!), because it's too important. I mean, I didn't see too many male student composers there... so obviously, we still need a series like this.

Moose Bunny Ranunculus

2008-03-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

D made an ugly painting that her boyfriend found into something more pleasing. She added two silhouettes in pure white. Instead of hanging in her oh-so-long hallway, it has been upgraded to the living room. Now this, is affordable art!

I decided to try growing plants again on our porch. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of killing plants. My father used to be a landscaper/landscape architect, and created beautiful gardens. I tend to kill everything except for bamboo. So, I thought I'd try it again. We got a meyer lemon tree and a few of my favorite flowers, the ranunculus. I love this flower, and more than anything, I kill flowers first. But these were only $2.50, so what the hay? So far, so good!!

The Flats

2008-03-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

B, sister D and I went to Santa Cruz over the weekend. D was playing a show at *Caffe Pergolesi*. She plays the viola in *Arcadio*, and either has a beer or whiskey right by her side when performing. We stayed at this interesting motel called *Edgewater Beach Motel*, and our friends were staying at a motel that was about 3 blocks away. Apparently, we found out that the area there, is called, "the flats," and is the most shady area of Santa Cruz. The way it was described to us, it came off as reeeaaaalllly bad. But since all five of us have either traveled, have lived, or live in shady places, we were a little skeptical. When we dropped off our friends at their motel, we said our goodbyes and chanted, "1-2-3-LIVE" as we all put our hands together in a huddle. I would say the most unpleasant thing there were the beds we slept on. But other than that, we had no problems. Not to say that the Flats isn't a bad neighborhood, we're just used to worse.

My good friend Soog was also in a show that night, so B and I went to her show first. It was full of clowns, graham crackers with whipped cream, balloons, and a gorilla. It was AWESOME.

In the morning, we went to *Beach Street Cafe* for breakfast, and it was good breakfast food.

Musica delle Donne

2008-03-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

Last night, I attended the *Musica delle Donne* at CSUEB. The performances were wonderful and I was very excited to hear the third movement of my trio performed live for the first time. Unfortunately, most of it was a blur to me since I was so nervous in my seat. But, I was very happy with the performance and cannot wait to hear it performed in its entirety in May.

Power Trip

2008-03-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

This guy is a jackass. I don't know why the public keeps forgiving their politicians when they break the law, and I don't know why their wives do either. *Eliot Spitzer* is just another layer of icing on the cake. But this cake tastes like shit.

Wimpy Dog!

2008-03-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Nigel is 9 pounds, and afraid of a lot of things. He used to play with all dogs, until a fateful day at puppy school. He was trampled upon by a group of dogs, and he was never the same. Always scared of big dogs, and sometimes will snap back. He doesn't bite, but he will react. He is now afraid of the big dogs he grew up with, and has no interest in playing with little dogs. This makes us sad, and so we're gonna go to see a trainer today for a private session. Hopefully, she can help and I'll be reporting his progress. We'll see!

Cake is yummy with Sugar

2008-03-05T17:26:00.001-08:00

I just wasted 1.5 hours looking for a good bakery that can make a sugar-free cake. My dad is turning 60, and he is diabetic. Cake is bad already.. the sugar, the flour, the butter, etc. But it sure is difficult to find a place that can do a sugar-free one. So frustrated. So stupid.

Someone needs to open a low-sugar or a sugar-free bakery that makes cakes that tastes and looks good.

My written exam is set for the 18th. Stress has set in.

Get er' Done

2008-02-22T11:21:00.001-08:00

Parlez Vous Francais?

2008-02-15T08:35:00.000-08:00

Non, je parles anglais, et je ne suis pas ananas. Il est beau aujourd'hui, donc je vais aller jouer dehors. Ugh, I didn't retain anything in high school. Seems as though I'm on this french kick these days.

Listening to: Berlioz
Also to: Tegan and Sara (friend gave us the cd, but they're not french.)
Playing: Poulenc and Ravel
Going to: Paris.... haha, I wish.

happy friday.... glorious fridays!

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T08:52:00.002-08:00

I admit it, I was being a total poo-head this past week, and was even worse yesterday. Definitely feeling sorry for myself and the self pity was reeking of poop. Despite of this, B surprised me this morning with this. I'm such a dork.

Thanks for not kicking me to the curb, B.

Before and After

2008-02-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

Nigel was looking like a wookie, so we finally took him to the groomer.
Before....

After...

There's been a before and after for the Smo household as well. We predict that this year will bring exciting new changes for us, so our minds have been racing ever since the starting of this new year.

I am almost done with my thesis, and just finishing up the analysis portion of it... yes, I am still working on that. Yes, I am a complete retard when it comes to writing an analytical essay. And yes, it was confirmed that I was a complete retard when I had to throw out the first ten pages of my thesis. I cannot wait until this is over, because I have ideas for a new piece.

I started up my piano studio in January, and so far so good. My students are great, and although I started when I was four, teaching my youngest students and seeing how well they are doing always amazes me.

As for little things, B and I went to GG Park yesterday w/Nigel and my sister. The weather was gorgeous, tons of people out, and we traveled back in time when we saw the roller skaters out with their enormous speakers. When we lived in SF, I think we took GG park for granted. This time, we walked a fair ways, B spotted an eagle, and we got some sun. We had a great time, but afterwards, we were tired, hungry, grumpy, and nonfunctional. It was a good night sleep for all...

Did you VOTE today?

2008-02-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

If not, then GO.

I finally made my decision, and this year, I'm rock'n and rollin'.

and check this out....

2008-02-01T17:21:00.001-08:00

B is a tech monster. His idea of a good Friday night is going out to drinks and talk about expensive hardware. Well, that may not be true.... he likes to talk about the new Cisco Nexus 7000 Series Switches and its 15 terabit per second backplane. Anyway, I won't go on and on because you can read it all on his blog *Tech Philosophy*.

Now live well and prosper all you computer nerds!

Barack n' Roll or Pimpin' Clinton?

2008-02-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

This campaign is driving me nuts. I usually have a candidate that I strongly support, or at least know who I'll be voting for. The Republican candidates scare the heck out of me, but at least I know who the lesser of two evils is. But alas, it is between Obama and Clinton for me. I kid you not, I switch every week or even every day. My sister is having the same problem and sent me to this website, glassbooth.

Although I only had a 4% difference between the two candidates, I urge you to take it... it'll be good for you.

When it Snows, well, it snows

2008-01-22T11:59:00.000-08:00

B+I just came back from Tahoe last night. The weather was beautiful when we first arrived, and then the snow came on Sunday and Monday. I've never been in the snow while it was snowing. It had always been sunny for all the other times I've been up there. Lola, (my sweet little Honda CR-V), did so well, and busted out her four wheel drive and her shiny new snow tires to help us get through the snow. However, some lame woman in her compact BMW almost ran into Lola while we were going back to our cabin. Apparently, beemer lady in front of us thought that she could go up hill on an icy road without any chains on. Everyone else pulled over to the side of the road to put their chains on, but apparently, she believed with all her might that she could do it. Much to her surprise, she could not. So, she slowly started sliding down the hill sideways as I looked at her in anger and horror. "Just don't hit Lola, you stupid idiot," was the only thing on my mind. Our hearts were pounding as we saw her getting closer and closer to us. She had no control, and her brakes just made her slide even more. Luckily, the car coming from the opposite direction realized how much of a moron this beemer driver was, and gave us room to go around her. I can't imagine the frustration the locals have dealing with lame and irresponsible tourists who think they can drive. I am very thankful that we made it out of there admidst all the crazies.

B went snowboarding, and I finally realized, (after ten years), that he's pretty good. He went with a couple other people, who confirmed it for me. How was I supposed to know? I don't go on those double black diamond runs. In fact, I don't go on runs at all. I'd rather hang out in the lodge where it's warm. I'll go out and play in the snow, then go back to where it's warm. Just not my cup of tea..... ahh... now tea, I can do.

We left yesterday at 11am, and did not get back until 5pm. Yeah, it took a long time, but at least we had some time to rest before we got ready to go to a dinner party. The dinner was scrum-diddly-umptious, and the company was equally good! I also got the chance to finally meet a person that I've been wanting to meet for a long time. She was super nice, had a great sense of humor, and not to mention, super cute.

Now for next weekend, I'd like to climb a mountain, finish my thesis, and celebrate Nigel's second birthday.

2008 New Year Card

2008-01-14T13:10:00.001-08:00

Procastination............... ain't it the truth?

Bing a Ling

2008-01-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

B and I went out on a date Saturday night. Since I've been gone, we decided to get our butts out of the house and do something fun. We got a gift certificate to a restaurant in Walnut Creek called, *Bing Crosby's* from work. So, we set up a reservation and drove out to the land over 24. The place was crowded, and full of old walnuts and creeks. The middle of the restaurant housed a pianist and vocalist who sang old jazz tunes. There were black and white pictures of Bing everywhere, and they had these gigantico booths on the outer sides of the restaurant. The food was good (and expensive). The special appetizer of the night was grilled sardines with a light arugula salad and bread sticks. This was alright, but it reminded me of the mackeral that I make at home, so it was no biggie. The crabcakes were good, and the sauce that came with it was yum. B ordered the lamb three ways, and I ordered the seared Ahi Tuna. For dessert, the chocolate souffle was definitely worth the wait. They say to allow 20 minutes, but with a couple glasses of wine in our tummies, 20 minutes seemed like 20 seconds. Oh, and we sat across from Dennis Richmond of Channel 2 news. Though, it is always strange to see famous people in person because they seem to look very plastic. Of course, I'm being purposely naive here as to not offend anyone...... cough.... cough.... surgery.

After dinner, we caught Charlie Wilson's War in Emeryville. It was a good movie, and Philip Seymour Hoffman's character was awesome. It's worth it to just see him.

Good date night. I taught five kids earlier that day, so it was nice to have a couple glasses of wine that night. I was a little tanked..... lightweight, remember? The kids were good though, and super cute. But my butt was definitely hurting after the fourth hour of teaching. Getting old.

Home Sweet Home

2008-01-10T17:20:00.001-08:00

I just got back from NYC last night, and I will admit that I'm not all that thrilled to unpack again. But once again, NYC did not fail me and I had a very fun trip! We stayed at the Pod Hotel, (picture of lobby above), in Upper Midtown, and our little bunk room was small, cozy, and sufficient enough for two. You have to share bathrooms, but there are four per level, and they are clean and nice. New York is ALL about the food, and I just can't stop saying it. We went to a lot of neighborhood restaurants, and I think it's the best to find hidden gems in the less tourist-y areas. Let's just say that after the cruise and this trip, I need to seriously go back to the gym. It's 2008, right? Let's make another resolution to lose weight... hehe.

It's a new year, let's get this party started.

A Big Boat

2007-12-25T20:37:00.000-08:00

B + I just came back from a cruise with his family. There were 14 of us in the Smith family crew, and the ship sailed from San Diego to Cabo, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. This was our first cruise, and the first thing I can say about it is that we probably gained five pounds in 8 days. It was pretty nice to be in warm weather, and to be swimming in the ocean in the middle of December. What a way to end the year. Which reminds me... Happy New Year everyone!!

here are some pics from the cruise....

This is the second tallest Lighthouse in the world. It's located in Puerto Vallarta, and we climbed to the top. I may not look like it, but I was exhausted.

This is Lovers/Divorce Beach at Cabo, San Lucas. About mid 80's, sunny, clear, and the water was great. It was a good day.

Apparently, they have formal nights on cruises. So B + I had to clean up our acts.

Wood Tavern

2007-12-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

For my good friend, J, we went out to dinner last Friday at the *Wood Tavern* on College Avenue. It would be a good idea to make reservations for this place if you want to go. The wait staff was excellent, and the food was good too. I had the chicken that night, but a part of me wished that I ordered the Seafood Stew. Luckily, L let me have some, and I ate most of the octopus that she didn't want. The picture is of the birthday cake that L got for the birfday girl. The cake place decorated the cake to match one of J's illustrations. It was BEAUTIFUL, but let me tell you, not that hard to eat. I love cake.

Anyway, check out the Wood Tavern if you have some dough to blow, and you want to go out on a fun date. Beware though, it ain't intimate.... it is lOuD!

Wish List Event

2007-12-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

Some friends of mine had a studio sale yesterday, and turned out to be a huge event! Each designer is so talented, and on top of that, they are super nice and genuine people. I've met a lot of people in this crazy industry, and sometimes, it's just difficult to find people who are nice.... or to even find people who have common manners to carry on a decent conversation or a simple, "hello." So, these gals are a breath of fresh air to me, and they also have talented minds.

Unfortunately, the studio space was too small for the event, and I stopped counting after a few hundred. But, it was fun and exciting to see so many people come through. Congrats to all the designers at the 9th Street *Wish List* event!!!

(I will post some pics up soon!!)
well, here's the pics that I dug up. There weren't that many, but here's a few...

What if we went on Strike?

2007-12-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, even at my age and my experience, I wonder if I will really be using my music degree. Most of the time, I know that I will, but sometimes, I wonder. I guess it is all the pre-jitters of graduating from grad school. I get these feelings mostly from how the rest of the nation views music. Every time I see the VH1 Save the Music commercial, I am happy at the fact that maybe someone cares, but sad at the fact that our kids music programs suck. It's always the first one to be downsized, or even obliterated. So, what if we could actually go on strike? This means....

+No music in stores. When you're shopping for that perfect dress, it'll be in silence, babe.

+No music in movies. Yeah, that scary movie ain't so scary no mo'.

+No music on the radio. When you're stuck in traffic on the Bay Bridge, and you've had two cups of coffee and a bran muffin, you can't distract yourself with the radio.

+No music on TV. Actually, maybe people will watch less TV, which might not be so bad. But just think, no opening music,
Emeril will have to say 'goodbye' to his band, no J-Lo, no theme music, no nothing.

+No music at school. No band at the football games, pep rally's, graduation. Silence at prom, assmeblies, and plays.

+No music at work. Take off your stupid headphones... not allowed. Turn off that stereo. Corporations will have to do all their boring ass presentations without music. Oh yeah, and how PRODUCTIVE will any worker be if music didn't exist? Healthy minds = productivity. It's simple psychology people, not rocket science.

+No music for kids. No toys that play music. No singing dolls. Turn off that jingle thingy. Oh yeah, and that rattle is just maraca in a different form, so give it back, kid. No lullabies. And remember, that TV won't have music either. Shrek and Blues Clues will just have to make it without music.

+No music for holidays. Christmas would be a little less jolly.

+No music in church. Sorry, can't sing or play anything here either.

Well, you get my drift. Lot's of people say to me, "I don't know a thing about music." Yet, they listen to it ALL the time. It is always ON. If it were gone, people would then notice. It's too bad that this couldn't happen though, because this would be the statement of a lifetime. Hmmm... but maybe..... ok folks!!, give me your IPods, stereos, movies, TV's, radios in your cars, cd players, cd's, laptops and computers (bc they play music too), toys, records, turntables, walkman's, tapes, and instruments!!!

and let's see how you and your children fare.

Careful, this is a long one...

2007-11-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

On Sunday night, B and I went to go see 'After the Quake' at the Berkeley Repertory Theater. We haven't been to a play in ages. Musicals and operas, yes. A straight ass play, no. Almost embarrassing to say, but I haven't seen a play since Cal Poly days. We can't even call ourselves thespians anymore. I should tear up my card now! Anyway, the play was good, and I did indeed take some favorite characters to heart.

I'm gettin' down and dirty now on my thesis. The compositional part is done, but the analysis part is left. I have absolutely no motivation to do this portion. Deep down, I believe that I hate it because I have to admit that I don't have a master plan when it comes to composing. I am going through my piece and wondering, "what's that chord?" and, "why did I do that?" and, "damn, answer me, fool! why did you do that?!"

I have composed this piece almost entirely by ear. Aya! WTF? Now I wonder how the heck I'm supposed to prevent this earthquake from happening. This, my friends, is how much of a newbie I am. I admit it. I give in.

A while back, a professor asked us what our technique was. I was silently thinking, "what technique? wtf?" I can blab away about piano technique, but this fresh-ass composition student didn't know where to start. I got nervous, but then thought, "Well, this is a discussion, right? I can learn something here."

My turn was up, so I just blurted the first thing that came to me, (which is the first thing that happens when I'm composing), "A motive comes into my head, and then I run with it. I think about form later. I guess I don't really have a set form of technique."

SILENCE.....oh crap, yup, I'm an idiot. Okay, point and laugh at the stupid newbie. Finally, after a long pause and shaking of the head, "Wow," followed by more shaking of the head and a condescending tone, "You need to learn a lot."

Needless to say, I left angry. I thought, no fucking shit, Sherlock. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Give me something that I can use. It also didn't help that another student said just about the same thing earlier, but he received a normal response. For some weird reason, I had to step up my game even more than he did. But, I also realize now that my lack of confidence in even my newbie technique killed that whole discussion.

Now, my lack of confidence in theory and technique together, is killing my motivation to analyze my piece. Although I am very, very, very bad at verbalizing music theory, I can figure it out and write it down like a bad-ass. Plus, I love the last movement of my piece (because that's a piece of bad-ass too), so I have something to look forward to. I guess I should just believe in that, and start with that piece of motivation. aaaaahhh... feel better now.

Sometimes, I see the music world as just one big guys club. Only sausage and beans allowed here, folks. As a result, I have to not only work harder, but create something even better to feel as equals. It's funny, even in the corporate world, I never had a feeling that my gender kept me down. It wasn't until I went back to school and into this industry that I see the very dark, black lines. It's not just music, it's in many other art related fields as well. How funny.... artists are supposed to be revolutionary, but their traditions are so conservative. Inexcusable.

Oh Finale... sigh

2007-11-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

I have been doing some minor revisions to my trio, and it is very exciting to feel that the end is near. The part that concerns me a little bit though, is formatting my piece in Finale. I like the program, and it's been alright for me so far... knock on wood. But I definitely do find myself saying,

"how do I..."
"why can't it..."
"why won't it..."
"why does it..."
"what is..."
"where is..."
"oh shit."

Because of that, my favorite buttons are,

apple Z
apple S

Sigh....where would we be without computers?

Happy Birthday B

2007-11-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

B's birthday is today, so I am ending his birthday extravaganza with an art project. The bass drum pedal is actually screen printed on by my little Gocco. I put some varnish on it, and the ink ran a little, but not that bad. This shot is before the varnish, so I'm glad I got a picture of it before I messed it up.

Petit Collage

2007-11-11T16:28:00.001-08:00

On Friday night, I went into the city with a couple friends to see an art show by Lorena Siminovich of *Petit Collage* at *Doe*. Her artwork reminds me of the happy things of childhood, as well as the good things that we should appreciate as adults. What's even better, is the artist herself, is just as friendly and sweet as her work. Her humor and wit is an added bonus too! It's always nice to meet artists who do not have a "stick up their ass" attitude. I deal too much of that crap with the industry that I'm in, and it is no better in the art community. So, Lorena is a breath of fresh air, and her art is something everyone wants more than one of.

Before the show, we went to eat at *Indian Oven* on Fillmore and Haight. Everything we ordered was so good. I recommend eating everything there, especially the Chilean Sea Bass... I know, so bad to eat, but it was so good.

Hakusan Ceramic

2007-11-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

I love this ceramic toothpick holder from Hakusan Porcelain Co. I've been trying to find this for the longest time, but can't seem to find it where I can buy with US dollars. One of my favorite websites that I like to check here and then, is *BG Shop*. They have the cutest stuff, but it's pretty darn hard to order in Japanese. I also love the Atelier prints on the napkins and placemats.

The Outcome

2007-11-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

With some minor adjustments and editing... the Trio is pretty much done. The ray of sunshine is hitting me in the face right now. Now it's time to work on the analysis...poop.

Glimmering Light

2007-11-08T08:52:00.001-08:00

I almost finished my Trio last night. I say almost, because I haven't had my lesson yet, and I have a feeling that there will be some editing to be done. My lesson with F is today, so I am hoping that everything just sounds good. If there are only minor things to adjust, I will feel great. If there are major things to adjust, I think I might cry. The rough draft of the thesis is due next Friday, so this glimmering light that I see right now needs to become a whole fucking ray of sunshine.

Fabricating Wood

2007-11-07T13:37:00.000-08:00

I have had my eye on this fabric from *Joel Dewberry* for quite some time now. My problem is, I keep buying fabric, and then I don't do anything with it. The bigger problem is, is that I don't know how to sew very well. Whenever I find a fabric pattern that I like, I always tell myself that I'll make a cool pillow out of it. Well, I am running out of places in my house to put more pillows. I thought that this "wood" fabric would also look cool as a pillow, and it comes in a lot of other colors as well. But, I shouldn't, I can't, and I shan't make another pillow. Should I hold on to this thing, or let it go? Hmmmm..... ideas anyone? Oh, how about a seat cushion cover? Now, that's not really a pillow, right?

Silicon Valley Marathon

2007-11-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

B ran in the Silicon Valley Marathon yesterday with his brother, and completed his first marathon in 5h 27m. I get super ancy doing one thing for over 5 hours. Running for 30 minutes is the maximum for me and my attention span. But B did it, and did it with style! This was his first marathon, and his brother's 5th marathon. He didn't lose any toenails, so that was good. Didn't get injured, so that was even better. He did get some nasty B.O., so that wasn't so good. But all in all, his 26.2 miles was a breeze. Well, it was a breeze for me since I just came to the finish line. He may have something different to say about it.

A Cote

2007-11-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

On Friday night, we went out for a friend's b-day to A Cote (5478 College Avenue, Oakland, Ca). This is a small plate restaurant that features French cuisine. Remember, it's French, so come prepared to eat cream and butter. Glorious cream and butter! Not good for the diet, but very good for the tummy, yummy! Fortunately, they don't overdo it, so you don't feel like you just ate a tire when you walk out of there. The mussels are fantastic, and so is every type of potato dish. We also had the Flat Iron steak (marvelous), duck pizza, rabbit sausages, grilled calamari, mushroom soup, swordfish, and the arugula salad. Everything was good, and the atmosphere was fun as well. Definitely a cool place to go for a fun date, but it is quite noisy. I recommend making reservations as well if you can.

Foodie Restaurant Diary: Korean

2007-10-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

I decided to start writing about restaurants. Since my recent lifestyle change, I figured that if I can't eat everything I used to, I'd at least write about it. I love food, what can I say? I love going out to eat food, socialize with food, drinking with food, cooking food... you get it, right? So, this first entry will be dedicated to my first love: Korean.

Jong Ga House: 372 Grand Avenue, Oakland, Ca. This place is my new favorite place. The side dishes, (banchan), are excellent. If the banchan is good, there's a better chance that the entree's are good. Dol Sot Bibim Bap is always a hit, but I love the Bo Saam. Warning, you've really got to love pork and oysters to love Bo Saam. Otherwise, the Sauteed Calamari is also a yummy item.

Sahn Maru: 4315 Telegraph Ave, Oakland, Ca. I come here because it's also good, the ingredients are fresh, and flavors are pretty spot on. They make their own sauces (red paper paste), and noodles. So try their noodle soups (Kal Gooksoo), and the seafood pancake appetizer. Their Bo saam is good here too, but most all their dishes are pretty good.

Pyung Chang Tofu House: 4701 Telegraph Ave, Oakland, Ca. The BEST soft tofu house. I have been to many others, but this is by far, the best place. I was a little worried because they changed owners a couple years ago, but hope was not lost. It's still F'in good.

Sam Won: 2600 Telegraph Ave, Oakland, Ca. The ambience here sucks... there are no windows. But, if you really want some good ass Korean BBQ, come here. They are the Brothers (in San Francisco) of Oakland. I never really liked their banchan though. But their cold buckwheat noodle soup (naengmyun), and BBQ is hella good.

++Rule of thumb++
Korean restaurants are notorious for bad customer service. Fortunately, most of these restaurants are not that bad. If you want something and it's taking forever, just call and wave at the waiters.... it's no big deal. If you go to a place like Sam Won where you literally BBQ your meat at your table, be prepared to reek of BBQ when you leave. It'll be embedded in your clothes and hair. Otherwise, enjoy.... you won't ever leave hungry.

Magic Flute

2007-10-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went and saw the Magic Flute at the SF Opera house. So, we put on some nice clothes and headed on over to the city for a 3h 15m show. I really like the Magic Flute, and the costumes and set were pretty amazing. Although, I did have one complaint... the second half of the opera (although the music was exciting), the stage and direction just fell a little flat. A little anticlimatic when the prince had to go through the dark, dangerous, and scary trials. They just walked across the stage behind a screen, and then that was it. But overall, it was a great performance, and we all had a great time.

We had great food too! Afterwards, we went over to Sahn Maru, (Korean food), in Oakland. It's on Telegraph in the Temescal area. SOOOOO good. A great ending to a weird week. Hopefully, the circus show freaks that came out last week will go back to their respective caves. I may start believing in the full moon now.... arrrrwoooooooooooo!!!!

Is It the Full Moon?

2007-10-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

The grump-a-saurus' came out these past few weeks. Grump-a-saurus-rex came out this week. There have been numerous sightings, and witnesses say, "this is not good." The grump at our home hasn't been to bad. There were moments, but he never fully developed. Fortunately, I don't think I have been affected... YET. Knock on wood, and hope it won't happen. I can't help but to write about this today because of the frequency of weirdness that has been going on. My sister in law mentioned that her kids go a little crazy during the full moon. This is coming from people who do not believe an ounce in the hocus-pocus, hoodoo-voodoo stuff. So, could it be? hmmm....

My composition is going well so far. I had a pretty good week, and the lesson went very well. The only fall back was that I didn't really sleep this week. Usually when I get super into it, I can't stop my mind from thinking about it... sigh. The good news is, I always get good ideas during this time.

Playing wise, I bought the Trio in e-minor by Shostakovich, and have been playing it all week. It kind of sucks not being able to play it with the other two instruments. Reading through ensemble music is my idea of heaven. Now, only if I could get some robots that can play the other parts.

The New Aunt Jemima?

2007-10-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Actually, I haven't had Aunt Jemima in over a decade. I got this in my email this morning, and thought, "what the heck?!" Then I became strangely intrigued by the whole concept. This may be a thing worth trying out... and heck, it's organic!
*Batter Blaster*

On Saturday, B and I went on a very long hike at Wildcat Canyon Regional Park. Nigel went with us, and he did alright for a 2.5 hour event. We turned back around when he stopped in the middle of the trail, looked at us with tired eyes, and then just laid down on the ground. Poor pup. At that time, I realized that my legs and feet were aching, so we turned back. Still aching the next day, and still a little ache here and there today.

Composing wise, I jumped over my hurdle from last week. I let out a huge-ass sigh of relief since my brain and my ears were about to kill me. I only have a few more weeks to turn in my rough draft of the thesis. No stressin' right now, only will.

Composer ADD

2007-10-16T14:57:00.000-07:00

I have had two lessons so far this quarter. In both lessons, we have only looked at the first six measures of the third movement to my trio. Today, it has grown from the original six to eighteen. I am trying to study a "Stravinski-an" (is that a word?) technique, but seriously folks, no one can make it sound as good as he does. Needless to say, it's been difficult. In general, regardless of that, I seem to have problems in expanding my sketches anyway. Do I have composer ADD? Do they have ritalin for composers who are two cents shy of writing pop songs and jingles? Oh, I can see it now....

N.S.Cho: famous (haha) composer who wrote classical pop tunes. Each piece lasting an average of 3:54 minutes, perfect for the modern day Classical music ADD audience.

How Many Calories,

2007-10-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

saturated fat, cholesterol, and carbohydrates are in sea cucumbers and jellyfish? I've had a craving for sea cucumbers and jellyfish for so long, that we went out last night to a Chinese restaurant at Ranch 99, to get my fix. However, with my new diet, I was curious to know what the nutritional facts were on these things. Well, let me tell you "hhwhat," it's a little difficult to find.... anyone, anyone? Well, it was damn worth it for me. yumsers.

Flip This Lady

2007-10-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Went to Kaiser this morning to see my Doc about my results. She explained to me that I am borderline, but eventually, I will get it. ARG, genes can be so frustrating. I also asked to see a nutritionist because I am a little bit lost in what else I can do to help my diet. At this point, instead of what I'm eating now, (brown rice, quinoa, kefir, salads, grilled veggies, and fish), I think I need to just eat grass. Hint of sarcasm? Well, I gotta humor myself because this blows.

I also figured out that if I get pregnant, I will get diabetes. Whether or not I will have it right after the pregnanacy is questionable. But eventually, I will get it anyway. So, what do I do? Damn, well if this ain't a good motivator to go to the gym more often, then I don't know what is.

Doc also prescribed something for me. Unfortunately, I can't drink any alcohol while taking the medicine. "What?" I exclaimed to the pharmacist, "Not even one drink?"

"No. It will damage your liver. Alcohol damages your liver already, but with the combination of alcohol and this drug, it will really damage your liver."

"Not even one drink at a dinner party?"

After a while, I felt like I sounded like an alcoholic. I assured her that I only drink maybe a couple drinks per month, but that wasn't even good enough. So, goodbye alcohol. I bid you farewell. I will remember you always, and look fondly upon our memories together.

The Family Gift

2007-10-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

September was a weird month. I went to the doctor because I threw up blood, and damn, that hurt. Figured out it was acid reflux, so I got some pills for that. The doc also wanted me to get a blood test done, so I asked her if I could also get my glucose test done since Diabetes runs in our family. It was a good thing I dragged B along with me because I passed out... twice. The second time, the lab lady came out and gave me two packets of Splenda. I looked at them and said, "Ew, no. I'm okay." B said, "No, you're not. Eat it."

The test came back, and it wasn't good. So, I had to take another test. B came with me again, and this time, we were armed with Gatorade and grape juice. I am borderline. I go back to the doctor tomorrow.

Although I knew that this day was most likely to come, I thought I could handle it pretty well. Surprisingly, it has been more difficult than expected. The more research I've done, the more freaked out I've become. On my father's side, both my grandparents died in their 60's from it, my aunt died two years ago, and the rest of my uncle's have it, including my skinny-ass dad. It is relentless. Changing my lifestyle has been difficult and frustrating.

Since so many people in the USA have diabetes, it seems like it's becoming as normal as having arthritis. Because of that, I don't think people take it as seriously as they should. I also think that because this disease is slow in showing it's effects, people think that what you can't see won't hurt you. Unfortunately, many wait until it is too late. I can't afford too late, but it's been hard to accept.

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I am a bit tired from being poked, pricked, and being told what to do. I do not accept this "family gift" happily, but at least I'll accept it knowingly. However, I will admit that before each meal, I say to myself, "This fucking blows."

Wrap it up

2007-09-25T08:37:00.001-07:00

B + I just celebrated our five year anniversary. We went to Mendocino last weekend, and stayed at the *Stanford Inn*. It was the nicest hotel/B&B I've ever stayed at, and they allow pets. We rented a canoe to hang out on the river, played at the beach, hung around in the little town, swam in the heated pool inside the solarium, hot tub, sauna, massages.... the list goes on. The Stanford Inn is pretty amazing as well. It is pricey, but you get what you pay for. The pool is open 24 hours, and I could hang out there for hours. No continental breakfasts here.... you get a REAL one. There's a fireplace in each room, the beds are comfier than the ones at home, and they give you chocolates and cookies delivered to your room! We were pampered. REally.

It was a perfect way to end the summer before school begins. So, here's a summary of my summer:
+ Worked a lot
+ Went camping a few times
+ Went to Oregon and San Diego
+ Turned 3-0
+ Met some cool people
+ Being audited
+ Drama Rama
+ Diagnosed with something that I really did not want to be diagnosed for
+ Stress case
+ Mendocino...... ahhhhhhh... relax.

And now, school begins. Bring it on, sloppy joe.

Craft, Inc.

2007-09-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

A new friend of mine just published her third book, *Craft, Inc.* I was so excited to read her book, my determination to read it in one night was a success! It was neat to read her interviews with all the designers, and the information is very helpful for anyone who is looking to start their own craft or design business. She's having a book launch party on October 2nd, so go check it out!

Fan Death

2007-09-01T09:47:00.001-07:00

The other day, my husband asked me if I knew what "Fan Death" was. I had no clue to what it was. After he told me, then it clicked in my head. I was pretty shocked at first after hearing about what it was, but then realized that we were not allowed to have fans blowing at us while sleeping when we were kids. I don't think my parents were as harsh about it, and they didn't tell us why. The only thing they said to us were, "it makes you sick." Check it out....

*Fan Death*

First Blush Juice

2007-08-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

My cousin called and left a message for me the other day. Her husband came out with a juice that is now being sold at Whole Foods. I am going to trek on over there to try it today... can't wait! It's called *First Blush*, and I have a feeling it's going to be very, very, yummy! I hate most juices and soda because of they use high fructose corn syrup. This juice has none, and that's how I like it! If you try some, let me know how you like it!!

the big one

2007-08-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

The big one came and went. I plucked out a couple white hairs just for the occasion. Nigel was suckered into partying with me. He decided to eat the hat after I put it on him. Don't really see why, as it looks so darn-ass cute. I'm pretty lucky that he still loves me.

UMS

2007-07-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Last week, I declared that it was National UMS week. After countless reports of dog houses occupied by men, and pulled out sofa beds, it was safe to conclude that grump-a-saurous men were on the loose. Statistics indicated a high rise of tantrums, sassy-fras attitudes, and fits. C.Graber commented, "my father called me from Kansas saying that he was hiding in the garage!"

Hopefully, UMS will not repeat itself again soon.

Unexplained Male Syndrome

Glorious Summer

2007-06-30T10:54:00.001-07:00

It's been almost three weeks since my last post, and it has been a glorious three weeks. I finally had an idea for the second movement to my trio, so I busted it out for my last lesson of the school year. Off to numero tres! About 90 percent of the weeks following that was me going out with friends, dinner parties, outings, and camping. I believe this behaviour is a result of two things:
1. School's out for summer. I have had such horrible school burn-out this year, that I had to party myself silly.
2. I'm turning 30 in August, and I have to see how ridiculous I can get before then.

B and I went camping to Fort Ross last weekend. It was freakin' cold in the mornings and night, so I pretty much looked like this the whole time. Although, my hair got greasier and gnarly after a while. B went abalone diving, and we have two in our freezer now. We ate the others while camping, and there ain't nothin' better than eating a fresh catch two hours later.

Last night, I went to a dinner outing and met many designers including the great blogger from Design Sponge, Grace Bonney. She was exactly how I imagined her to be.... cute, petite, and very nice. I was probably the only person who was not a designer at the event, but I'm happy to know people that keep me in check so I don't look like my mother.

Uff Dah

2007-06-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had my very last class with the one and only, Steinster. Although I was relieved to have finished the year and looking very forward to summer, I was sad to know that last night was the last night I'll ever have him as a teacher. Steinster was funny, super knowledgeable, passionate about his art, and didn't give us any breaks.

Music Lit and Analysis: seemed like three years, but was all crammed into one. The most hellish class ever. Introduced to the
infamous stamp, "Uff Dah."

Music Research 6000: Most seminars are pretty easy to handle... except for this one. Projects were non-stop, and the final
project nearly killed me. (had to write a big-ass paper.)

History of Classical Music: very cool.
History of Romantic Music: even cooler.
History of Baroque Music: His favorite subject. Not so much mine, but still enjoyable.

Ay Yai Yaieee!

2007-06-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

And the "beating-oprah" comments continued. Well, I actually have a confession. The reason as to why I was so compelled to not only comment, but to also blog about the issue, is probably because I actually like Oprah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say what you may. But, I have a lot of respect for people who came from nothing, worked their asses off, became someone, gives back, a minority, and to top it all off, is a woman. She might do some cheesy and crazy stuff, but dude, she's on TV. What else can you expect? They do those kind of things.

My dog is growling at me now. Apparently, he's not so fond of Oprah.

I Concur

2007-06-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

After a funny night yesterday, involving five San Pablo police cars, one San Pablo police SUV, 8 officers, one tow truck, and one angry neighbor, I woke up early this morning to catch up on the blogrolls. Doesn't relate, but hey, that's how it all went down. I could not agree more with this post, *beating-oprah*, so I had to blog about it.

I agree that there is some weird stigma attached to the "Oprah's book club" sticker. I have read many of the books that have later received the Book Club sticker, and I must say, they were all good books to begin with. The two that stick out in my mind are, The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver, and One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Both, in my opinion, are very good books that stand strong on their own, regardless of sticker. Also, I do not believe that the books on the list are bad books. It's not like there are any trashy Danielle Steel type novels or a list of fashion magazines on there. So my question is, without that sticker, would more or less people read it? If the sticker helps people to read more books, then more power to the damn sticker. If it does really matter to you, well, "H" couldn't have said it any better.

Slept like a baby

2007-06-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

After the Arcade Fire concert on Saturday night, Mr. Sandman finally came and threw some sand on me. This was probably the best concert I've ever been to.

All work and No sleep

2007-06-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

makes Nancy a very cranky girl. My brain has been going nuts this week. I have been thinking about my composition so much lately, that I can't stop thinking about passages, new ideas, old ideas, wrong things, right things, good things, and bad things, over, over, over, and over again. After my last few failed attempts, I have been a bit discouraged lately. I have had to scrap nearly a hundred measures worth of stuff. Sucks balls. So this week, I tried to think, create, and be inspired. Of course, all of this builds up during the days, and then during the nights, I can't sleep. The thinking continues, and it literally takes me 2-3 hours of lying in bed to fall asleep. 1am, 2am, 3am...... wake up at 6am, 7am, 8am..... rinse, repeat.

Tired, frustrated, almost defeated. ALMOST, but not quite. I did get a bright idea, so we'll see if it'll all pay off. I am going to the Arcade Fire show, so maybe that will help me get out of this funky business. UGHUGHUGH.... I need to call Pigpen to help cheer me up.

Well, it's 12:12am now. I thought I would pass out earlier since I only had a few hours sleep last night. I guess that wasn't the case. Let's see how long this miserable marathon will last.

Everything tastes better outdoors

2007-05-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

After my trip to NYC, I played catch up last week. Everything is just about caught up except for my laundry...ack. I had to work on my Oratorio as well for Dr. S today, and also wanted to go to Salt Point with my friends to camp over night and hang out at the ocean. It's overdrive, and got most of everything done on Saturday. B and I then drove up to Salt Point and arrived at 7pm (still daylight!) at the campsite. It was gorgeous. We had to walk in to the campsite because the drive in ones were full, but it was well worth it. No one was around, it was quiet, and exactly what I needed. Our friends caught a abalone, so we ate that for dinner.... yumsers! They wrapped it over a piece of cheese, breaded it w/panko, and fried it. It was so freakin' good, and plus, everything taste ten times better outdoors!

Next day, we went to Fort Ross so that B and Dive-master could go diving for abalone. B caught a couple small ones at first, so he had to put them back. But alas, the last one was more than the minimum 7". Ab-ie is sitting in our fridge right now waiting to be eaten. I like it sashimi style w/hot sauce, or w/wasabi and soy sauce. Dive-master was a great teacher and a good sport even when B got sea sick.

I got to lay out in the sun (the weather was awesome), and hang with pal, C. No tanning of course, the wind was a little chilly. But the skies were clear, the sun was out, and the rocks were warm. We were enamoured by the seals for hours, and watched the guys dive.

Afterwards, we stopped by my parents house to eat kalbi and kimchee. A perfect end to a fast, exhausting, trip! Ma hooked us all up with jars of kimchee, kalbi, and other goodies to take home. Korean moms, love to feed.

Crushhhhh

2007-05-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

I just saw Casino Royale the other night starring Daniel Craig as James Bond. I have the biggest crush on this guy now. Normally, I don't go for the blonde types, (although, I married one). But this guy is so freakin' hot in this movie. I will have to say that my favorite parts of the movie was when he was half naked. This whole thing is pretty out of character for me. I don't normally have crushes on celebrities, nor do I obsess about their bodies. But, something about this man is super, super, hot. My sister said, "I just want to rip his clothes off and gnaw on his arm."
"yes, indeed-y," I replied.

Tired Feet

2007-05-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

I just got back from New York today and the trip was exciting, fun, and exhausting all at the same time. I helped out my friend from Blue Wild Indigo at Accessories the Show, and she was busy, busy, busy. And, she'll be very busy, busy, busy, in the next few months as well. We stayed at E51st street, and just fell in love with the neighborhood because everything was right at our fingertips. Since we were so tired after working the show, we just walked to our local restaurants to eat dinner. The food around there was incredible! We ate yummy Italian, good Japanese, mind-fucking-blowing tapas, and good ol' pub food. Forget shopping, NYC is all about the food. Although, I always tend to get travel bloat which causes me to not eat as much. Oh well, it may be a survival mechanism that my body does so that I don't stuff myself to explosion. Even better, the food out there makes the wine and beer tastes a thousand times better. Tired feet, happy tummy.

will be gone

2007-05-04T08:54:00.001-07:00

for a week. Off to NYC I go!!!

Nigella

2007-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since Nigel has graced the blog page with his presence. He's still around barking at random people, going after our socks, laying in the sun, and eating cat/dog poop. That last one bugs the shit out of me. Anyway, there is a pug in the neighborhood that is only about 6 months old. I don't know what to think about pugs. I sometimes think that they can be cute, but I think they are as dumb as dogs can get. Although, this pug may have some magical powers. Nigella hates the pug. The first time he saw the little thing, he started tugging the leash so he could get away from it. "What is up Nigel-Weena? Are you afraid of the dumb pug with the fuschia collar?" Apparently so.

Nigella also loves to eat bark. It is unfortunate for him that he has no memory of what happens to him after he eats it. After eating a big ass piece of it, he was "plugged up" for a couple days. I was a little worried that he might have an episode while we were gone, but that was not the case. B walked him one morning and finally, Nigel did the poo crouch. He was squeezing and trying very hard. All of the sudden, the piece of bark (with poo) about 2 inches long SHOT out of his butt. At the same time, he yelped and jumped up, "Arf!!!!!"

So funny. And, he still eats bark.

Elitist Commute-ist Hellist

2007-04-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

The interchange between 80W to 880 collapsed on Sunday morning. 80 splits to 880 and 580E. Right at that split is where the overpass collapsed, and right at that split is where I take 580E to Hayward. Commute hell? probably..... I guess I'll find out today and on Thursday morning.

On Saturday night, I dragged my sister to a concert in the city. It looked like it had true potential, and I was excited to hear some new music. We ended up leaving early, but not early enough. I decided right then and there, that I do not really like algorithmic compositions. I have not yet heard a composition that I like which uses algorithms. We sat in the balcony during the second half of the concert so that we could see how many heads were faced parallel to the ground, still, silent, and asleep. During that time, I realized why no one goes to listen to classical music anymore. At least not NEW classical music. A composition based on an algorithm limits an audience. Only a handful of people understand it. No one else likes or understands it. From what I can see, this very elite handful of people are at universities, conservatories, and under rocks. Which means: 12 people at UC Berkeley, 9 people at Stanford, and ladee-dah... pointless to count. So, if there are only about 200 people in the world that listens to this, then, well, you see where I'm going with this? No one goes. No one gives a flying shit. Certainly, I didn't give a shit and had to leave before the last piece. I was hungry, sad, and bitchy. Maybe people just don't go to listen to classical music in general though. Whatever it is, I wouldn't blame them for not wanted to listen to a concert like this one. ALTHOUGH, I did like one piece very much. I thought it was engaging and it kept my interest. So, I did pay money for something.

On a yummy note, I ate at Poncho Villa in the Mission after the concert. That place is sooooo good. Never get a chance to get over there these days. I miss living in the city sometimes, but I do very much appreciate that I am living in my own home.

Did you remember that it's Admin Professional's Day?

2007-04-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

I went to Composer's Inc. last night with B to listen to Dr. L's piece. B said that it was his favorite piece on the program, and I laughed my ass off when he described why he liked it to me. I thought I was listening to Sean Penn in 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'. However, during the music, a cell phone rang behind us. I was annoyed, but then tried to get back into listening to the piece. As if the cell phone wasn't annoying enough, an old man that was sitting in front of us started chuckling after it rang. Thirty-five seconds later, the cell phone beeped to alert the retarded audience member that he had a message. (Why didn't he just turn the fucking thing off? it's a mind blowing mystery.) It just killed it for me, and I was thoroughly distracted at that moment. Then I got all parnoid that people might have thought that it was us! I am so OCD about turning my phone off during concerts and classes. You will literally see me check my phone at least three times before anything starts to be assured that my phone wouldn't magically turn itself back on. Actually, it wasn't too difficult to go back into the music again, so I survived. ;) B on the other hand, wanted to chew that guy out and I had to grab his arm to make him stop.

We had to run off to another show, so we left after L's piece to go to the Hotel Utah. My sister was performing with a band called Arcadio. It was fun, and I hadn't been to the Utah in years. Not to be biased or anything, but my favorite songs were the ones she played on. We couldn't hear her on the first song because the sound guy must not have realized how much quieter a viola is compared to a amp'd rock band, (and yes, she was plugged in). Regardless, a mic'd viola can't compete all that well to two guitars, bass, and drums. They turned her up later, so it was good in the end.

Today was a bit useless for me. I woke up with a famous Nancy migraine. I pounded some drugs, slept for most of the day, and now I'm trying to make something useful of the time I have left ...... hahaha... like, haha, writing in this blog!! Well, I'm all loopy now, but at least my headache has subsided. So, I will be composing for the rest of the evening because I'm excited about this idea I have. Off to numero 2!

p.s. title has not reflection of this entry, as if you hadn't noticed already.

yipee skippy!

2007-04-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Last week, I promised myself that I would finish the first movement of my trio. So, after a night of drinking at my friend's house on the Tuesday night, I got crackin' first thing on Wednesday morning. I played it for B later that evening and he said that there was something up with it, but could not figure out really what it was. I shrugged my shoulders knowing FULL WELL what he was talking about. But, I didn't care. I wanted it to be done.

I went to my lesson the following day and while listening to it, I had to cringe a little. "Oh Nancy, what the hell? Just for the sake of finishing it?"

Still, I continued to make myself believe that it was done. But then, in a polite manner (always in a polite manner), Dr. L expressed that it was a piece of crap and never to let foot in his door again. (haha, just kidding.) I held up my white flag and I knew exactly what was wrong. "Oh Nancy, what the hell? Just for the sake of finishing it?"

This stupid ending was going to kill me. I thought about it over, over, over.....oh god, i want it to be over, and then, it came to me. I whipped out the sucker and finished the details on Wednesday. When I went to my lesson, I could feel my heart rate speed up a little as we approached the ending. "That's it. That's what it needed." aaaaahhhhhhh, music to my ears.

On to the second movement. Let's get this one done sooner, shall we?

Bark, Bark, Bark

2007-04-05T20:59:00.000-07:00

So, I was hanging out with my buddy ('Confidence vs. Jerk' blog entry) again, and he brought along his friend, 'T'. We hung out for about two hours, and I had to get away. After this, I decided that my 'Confidence vs. Jerk' entry paled in comparison to how much more annoyed I was at 'T's personality. Low and behold, I met, 'I have something bad to say about everything'-man. Aya! Basically, the conversation went like this.....

"That composer sucks.....blah, blah, blah.......poseur.... blah, blah... I hate the way he uses... blah, blah, blah..."

I then asked, "Well then, who DO you like?"

"I like so-and-so, BUT.... blah, blah, blah.....and I like so-and-so, but.... blah, blah, blah..."

Was this guy for real? Listening to criticism after cricism, I wanted to scream. Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up!!! As time went on, I started feeling ill as I was sprayed with verbal vomit. I politely listened and laughed at his comments though, but then I could not help myself and said, "It's so easy to be critical, isn't it?" I wondered if 'T' was trying to impress me with his knowledge and criticisms towards everything. If so, I could not see the point seeing as though I am a new, learning, composer. Maybe he wanted to be a mentor of some sort..... bwa-hahahahahaha!

Now I feel like I am complaining as much as he did. Well then, let me just end with this:

I felt like I was listening to a barking dog. After two hours, no one wants to listen to a barking dog that eats shit.

Never Enough

2007-04-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of Spring Break. I go back to school tomorrow, and my first class is with Dr. Stein. I can't say that I was very productive (with composition) during this break. I have had this incredible urge to just get the hell away from here, and it didn't happen during this break. So, my camping, weekend getaway, coastal tour, SoCal visit ideas were all a bust. Instead, I did....

Monday: spent the day with a friend and her 3 month old that were visiting.
Tuesday: Dentist, Work
Wednesday: Work
Thursday: Work
Friday: spent day with Isa and cousin to help w/move
Saturday: Work, clean, groceries, composed
Sunday: run more errands to tie up loose ends, help cousin

I really need to get AWAY. I need to clear my head so that I can focus on some important things right now. There's a lot of clutter in my head and unfortunately, people are cluttering it even more. It's hermit time for Nancy again. I go through these phases where I can't deal with other people and their problems, and I just need to hermit out for a while. More unfortunately, I like helping people and try to be a good listener, but most times, it just doesn't come back around for me. Which is fine, dandy, and okay, but I just need a break. It can't be just a day off. I have to get away from the AREA. I love camping because I can be outdoors, be dirty, not care about how things are or how they should be, and get some fucking peace and quiet. Three days? two days? anything.

So Spring Break, it's just never enough time. I looked forward to you all Winter quarter, and you teased me. You made me believe that I would get away and be refreshed. Instead, you pulled the rug out beneath me and I hit my head hard. Ow. I rub my head. And now I go back with a bump on my head and a bruise on my knee.

Summer. Glorious summer.

Never Ending Story

2007-03-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

I have been writing a trio for piano, violin, and cello for the past two quarters. (I'm slow.) I finally got through my development and now I am fully prepared to end the first movement. The initial thought of this brought me glee and joy. When I got down to it though, I realized that I was focused so much on the beginning and development, that when I got to the ending, my eyes were suddenly caught staring into the headlights. blink blink. Now, I have become a space cadet (even when writing this blog entry), I sit and totally space out. I start to think of ideas, play around with the form of my piece, and then........ it........... just...................gets......................blurry. Spaced out.

Hope it ends soon. It's been three weeks. (oh god.) Yesterday, I was at the point where I would write three endings, have people come over, and then we can all vote on which one was the best. I envisioned an auction, and the highest bid on whichever ending would win. ...... oh shit, just spaced out again.

Ok, well, I'll think about it some more when I go to the dentist and work today. Just need to slap myself out of it. Well, more like punch myself out of it.

Confidence vs. Jerk

2007-03-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had an interesting discussion with a student composer (not from CSUH). I was kinda venting my frustration with some peoples egos and attitude. He then got into the topic that it's all related to confidence. Whether it be false or true confidence, I knew that it was pretty true. So then I thought, why can't people still be critical over his/her work and of others while still being respectful and (I hate to use this word) nice? Is it that they are really complete assholes, or that they are just socially retarded? He laughed at me.

"Nancy, you can't expect everyone to be nice to you. You can't expect people to not be socially retarded. Sometimes, being 'nice' might be portrayed as being weak."

"I'm not expecting everyone to be nice to me. I'm not in Strawberry Shortcake land here. It just seems a little lame to connect confidence with being an asshole. You know, there is a way to be confident and diplomatic.... without being socially retarded as well. Don't you think it's a cop out?" I said.

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But showing any signs of your lack of confidence will appear to others as you being weak or lazy," he replied.

(I had to chuckle here while I reminisced on how I used to work at my parents deli at the cash register when I was nine.)

"Well, I agree to some extent to your comment. It just seems so surface level for people to think that way. I guess."

"Maybe you are weak and lack confidence?"

"Go fuck yourself."

We laughed.

Passive Intense

2007-03-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

On Friday night, I attended the Musica Delle Donne concert at CSUH. The program consisted of women composers who are either alumni or students of CSUH. The piano piece I wrote last year was programmed, so I was eager to hear IG play it again. Of course, since it is the first piece I wrote as a comp. major, I have harsh criticisms towards it. Nevertheless, I enjoy hearing music written by the students of CSUH. Unfortunately, the audience was very sparse since it was the weekend before finals. Half of the people in the audience were not affiliated with the Music Department. There's this Asian dude that comes to almost every recital the music department has. No one seems to know who he is or where he comes from. He looks like he's in his early 30's, and he sits at the same spot every time. He also kicks off his white sneakers and watches the recital with his sneakers next to his feet. Who is he?

There was a funny moment for me after the concert during the reception. A woman came up to me and commented that she enjoyed my piece. We talked for a little bit, and then she said, "Your piece sounded like it had a lot of passion and intensity. It doesn't sound like a woman wrote it. Sounded like a man wrote it." I politely smiled and just replied, "oh, okay," because I had no freakin' clue as to how I was supposed respond. It was just a bit ironic that she said something like that at a concert series that is dedicated to women composers. A friend of mine suggested that I should have replied, "Oh yes, well, I used to be a man."

bliss

2007-03-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today, I conducted the wind ensemble for our last exam in conducting. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I can feel my spine crack as I slowly straighten it out. Oh bliss.... I cannot wait for next quarter. I can concentrate on writing now! I am taking Piano Ensemble as well so that I can get back into playing again. I was a bit nervous today when I conducted. The hands shook a little. (jazz hands!) But it wasn't as bad as it usually is. I think it is mostly due to the codeine in the cough syrup that I am taking. Maybe being sick was actually a blessing in disguise then?

Phew, what a quarter. I will be drinking a lot next Friday. A lot.

Look ma!

2007-03-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

For part time work, I have been working for my friend Carolina at Blue Wild Indigo. This has been so much fun for me because it feeds my tendencies of being a hermit. I can work, not talk to customers, not talk to students, use my hands, and think. Carolina has taught me so much, that I started creating some of my own creations. I made these for my sister's co-worker so that he can give them to his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, I am still sick as a bug. I do not have a fever anymore, but still very tired and have a cough that hurts my head. I have to prepare for conducting on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I'll be getting my ass out of bed today. B is hoping that I don't get pneumonia again like last year. I highly doubt it, but will be more careful this time. That means, I will try and do as much as I can to prepare for this class and have it bite me in the ass this week.

The Deflated

2007-03-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

I came down with a fever while I was in class on Tuesday night. I made it through class though, which was stupid of me because I should have gone home. I should have gone home to get some freakin' rest, but instead, I wanted to stay through class. Anyway, B rented 'The Departed' on Sunday night and we finally got to watch it last night since I am sick. If you haven't seen the movie and do not want to know what happens at the end, then don't read this. It was a very long movie. There are some very good actors in it. It took place in Boston. Everyone tried to have a Boston accent. Makeup was pretty good. I was fucking bored out of my fucking mind. This movie won Best Picture? Aya! They could have told the whole thing in 45 minutes! It dragged on and on and on and on. There were some elements that could have made it more interesting, but it just didn't happen. Instead, it was all about shooting people (which we've seen on TV/movies a billion and one times), and well, that was it. I was waiting for over two hours for something I wasn't expecting to happen, happen. And the ending....... oh paaallllleeeeaaaasssse! It's like a Shakespearean plot where he doesn't know what to do with the characters at the end, so he just kills them all. So lame. Basically, it was like, "I don't know what to do with the characters at the end. Hmm... I know! I'll kill all the main characters and that will add shock value because no one will expect that!"

I am so sick of movies that are just plain violent so they can try and shock you. Guess what? Not shocked anymore. If this movie was smart, then the violence wouldn't have bothered me. It only bothers me when it's a cop-out. My favorite character though, was Marky-Mark. He didn't have to say or be in the movie much to accomplish what took everyone else two and a half hours to do.

Maybe I'm just cranky because I have a damn fever. Or, maybe I was just not into movies this past year.

Mad about Schumann

2007-03-07T11:38:00.001-08:00

We have been analyzing Schumann's song cycle, Dichterliebe, in the analysis class that I'm in on Tuesday nights. Talk about peeling the layers of the onion.....(ref. Schubert's Onion post.) I have grown to hate conducting class even more, but have grown to love analysis class that much more. Say what you will about Schumann, but I grew up playing his music. Started out with Kinderscenen, and I loved them. He went away for a while during the time I had to study Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven, but then came back to him with his Fantasie op.17, and started to attempt (before I changed my focus), Carnaval and Papillons. I am studying his Song 12 from Dichterliebe, and it is interesting to study a song that seems unassuming when you hear it at first, and then when you peel the layers, something that sounded simple becomes complex and thoughtful. Although it has almost blown my head off (particularly in mm.8-10), every time I find a new piece to the puzzle, I get all giddy. It's ridiculous, I know..... it's very nerdy, I know.

Schumann went a little mad at the end though. How close does madness and genius relate to one another? I am surprised that there hasn't been one of those composer movies (ie. Amadeus, Immortal Beloved, Impromptu), made about him. Who wouldn't want to hear about some guy who went to law school, dropped out to become a composer, a great pianist who ruined his hands with some crazy device he invented, fought to win his wife (who at the time was only 15 years old), and a great composer who eventually went insane and had to be institutionalized. Not to mention, that his wife and his best friend had a crush on each other.............speculating, of course.

A big cheers and a Bloomin' Onion for Schumann.

Cloned

2007-02-26T17:22:00.000-08:00

I received a bill the other day from Cedar's Sinai Medical Center. I thought, "hmm, this is weird." The last time I was at that hospital, was years ago. I don't live in L.A., and I'm sure I was here on the date in question. In fact, I have plenty of witnesses to prove that. So, what the heck is this all about? Apparently, some person named, "Nancy Cho," went to Cedar's Sinai and the bill came to me. At first, I was angry that they were billing me twice for something that happened years ago. Then, I looked at my records and found that this wasn't the same incident. The doctor's don't even match up. Nothing matches up except for my name and address. (FYI, there are a million Nancy Cho's around. A very fobbie name.) Either the billing department made a mistake, or someone posed as me. I just got off the phone with the hospital and they told me that they opened up an investigation. An investigation? I don't care about your stupid investigation. Get this straight, I am not responsible for this so leave me out of it! The hospital guy told me that this happens all the time, and that I can check in later to see the status. WTF? Why do I have to check in? I am not responsible, asshole. Aw fuck. It seems to me, that I have been clo(w)ned.

sigh

2007-02-21T12:55:00.000-08:00

People can be so mean.

Lunch Date

2007-02-18T12:15:00.000-08:00

I had a lunch date with this girl yesterday. I haven't seen in her a couple weeks, and I could not help but to say, "man, you gained some weight!" I don't think I hurt her feelings though because then we went on to the new subject matter of pooping. Apparently, she has pretty good bowel movements, and she's got the leg muscle to prove it. There were some emotional tears over spilt milk, but I think she got over it quickly after bouncing her around.

She's my little second cousin, who I think of as 'Izzy'. Although I am not very fond of children, I made my decision to like her the first time I held her and she farted in my arms. I thought to myself, "as long as you don't scream your head off, farting is cool with me." And she was cool with me...... which I thought was interesting since kids like me just as much as I like them.

Some say that I am developing some sort of maternal instinct now. Well, gee, I'm not a freakin' machine. Still doesn't mean that I am ready yet though. In the meantime, I'll just hang with Izzy.

Repeating a Repeat of Repetitions

2007-02-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Actually, I must back up a couple days. On Friday, our friend Nada came over after work and we decided to do an impromptu jam session. I can't play guitar, so I picked up my accordian to join in. It took us several beers to start this, so we probably thought it was cool. I'm sure our neighbors did not. Anyway, we stopped playing and started listening to music. Oh gawd, how much more nerdier can it get? Nada brought over his Ipod, and we listened mostly to Deerhoof. Choo choo choo... listen to them and let me know what you think.

Now, let's get on to something recent. I went to a Composer's Inc. concert last night. I brought B with me and he was such a great sport. I enjoyed the second half more than the first. Although, I thought the trio in the first half was good. It caught my attention because I was planning on incorporating some Korean Folk into my second movement of the trio I'm working on. BUT, I want to make sure that I do not make it sound too cliche. How can one pull that off? Well, she pulled it off pretty well. Most ironic though, was in the second half, the first quartet played an amusing movement called "Nihonglish," and it was pretty much exploiting the, um, "oriental," cliche's in music. It kinda reminded me of my childhood when the kids teased me for being Chinese, and when I said that I was Korean, they replied, "There's no such thing as Korean."

The bass piece was entertaining. The bassist had to play and speak at the same time. I can't even rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time. He was super good, and definitely had the personality to pull it off well. I liked the quartet at the end the most. I need to digest that one a bit and give it a little more time.

I must say though, isn't it unfortunate sometimes when something you do not like so much is the thing that sticks out the most in your mind? For instance, there was a electronic/viola piece that was performed in the first half of the program. When I read it, I though, "oh, this might be interesting." Well, that thought had left after the first five seconds of the piece. BECAUSE, it repeated the first three measures for about 10 minutes. WTF? I don't get it. Can someone please explain this to me? It's like saying, "duh, duh, duh,...duh-duh, duh! duh? duh... duh, du-h-d-u-h, duh!" for ten minutes. Was it ten minutes? Aya, it was forever! That was a little harsh, wasn't it? Well, the violist was really good. poor guy.

Anyway, after all of that last night, I woke up this morning needing to blast the 'Eagles of Death Metal'. A good contrast to shake that piece out of my head.

Eyes Rolling

2007-02-12T16:30:00.000-08:00

I worked out for an hour today with my trainer. After she put me through a hard workout, my stomach was growling. Since it is all rainy and grey today, I found it to be a perfect excuse to get me a nice bowl of wonton soup. I went over to my favorite place, 'Chef's', in El Cerrito, and waited in line to pick up my hot, yummy, dumpling soup. The women behind the counter were Chinese, and had a very friendly attitude. They did however, have a thick accent. So, the gentleman before me had to have her repeat a couple things several times. There was a lady before him that was waiting for her food at the front of the line. When I finally got to the register to pay for my yummy soup, the Chinese woman went to put my food together in a bag. While she was doing that, the lady that was waiting next to me asked the Chinese woman, "Excuse me, we're going to eat the food here." The Chinese woman responded, "I'm sorry, but this line is for Take-Out only. You can sit at the outside tables." The lady did not understand her, and she asked, "What?" The Chinese woman repeated what she said. She still did not understand her. She then grew frustrated, huffed and puffed, looked annoyed, and asked me, "What did she say?" Actually, this wouldn't have bothered me as much if she had just asked me politely.

Now, I understand that I can be a tad sensitive to situations like this. But, since this has happened to me so many times, I automatically feel my two eyeballs start to roll up and around to the back of my head. So, I responded to her, "She said that this is the Take-Out line only. The dining room is probably reserved for sit-down guests." The lady replied, "oh, okay." You see, because I must look Chinejapaviethaikorino, I automatically can translate FOB. Even though I was born here, and even though there were big signs where we were standing that read, "Take-Out Only," I have the mystical power of translating English, and reading it as well.

Today I got to thinking..... if that FOB-ie lady had a thick-ass English, French, or Australian accent, would the customer be less annoyed? Probably. (And yes, sometimes it is difficult to understand people with these accents. When I went to Australia, I nodded and smiled most of the time.) We love to glorify "white" people accents. We hate all the others. So all you FOB's with Indian, Spanish, Chinese, Korean accents, learn to speak, will ya?

What I should have done when the lady asked me to translate English, was to have replied, "She say sol-ly. Dis-u la-ine pour Take-u-Out ohn-nie. Dineeng loom pour sitting-down custo-mahs."

Schubert's Onion

2007-02-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

I am taking a Analysis of Musical Styles course in the evening, and we are going through Schubert's Winterweisse. Man, I love this stuff. If I could, I would just take theory courses like these for the next hundred quarters (see last paragraph of blog entry below). I took the classical one last year, and although it was sometimes painful, it was gratifying at the end. In this course, Dr. L. wants us to dig deep into the songs to find musical/poetic meanings. We are supposed to start big, and then peel the layers of the onion to get to the middle. I can't help but to say that every time he mentions "peel the layers of the onion," I think of the 'bloomin' onion' at Outback Steakhouse. So, whenever he mentions the onion thing, I just get a huge craving for the 'bloomin' onion' and a nice, ice, cold, beer. soooo goood. When I mentioned that his whole "layers of the onion" thing reminded me of that last night, he just smiled, didn't say anything, and gave me a look like, "man, she really is crazy." (Either crazy or stupid.) Then again, I don't expect that he would ever go to Outback Steakhouse, so he wouldn't even know what a 'bloomin' onion' is.

I decided that after the quarter ends, the class should go to get some of this scrum-ditt-ily-umptious, white trash, chain food, and throw back a couple beers. So, cheers to Schubert and the 'bloomin' onion'! Maybe we can even listen to the whole song cycle while we drink... although, we would all have to try and refrain from going mad and having thoughts of killing ourselves.

Lifetime-r

2007-02-05T16:03:00.000-08:00

I actually had a breakthrough in my piece last week. It felt incredible and a sense of relief also came over me. In order to be a good writer, I feel that it is crucial to be an excellent listener. I am a slow-pokey listener. When I hear something and it finally clicks in my head waaaaay later, I hit myself on the forehead with the palm of my right hand exclaiming, "duh, duh, duh." These days, I have had to rely heavily on my teacher to help me to listen more carefully. I'll just have to learn and get better. So, after the breakthrough, the words, "Here's the thing..." came out of my teacher's mouth. "Aw, shit," was the first two words that came to mind. He continues, "I do not think that you will be able to finish your thesis in time for Spring 2007." (Of course, he led up to it more nicely so that I would refrain from vomitting.)

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," man that stinks. I am a slow-pokey writer as well. So, instead of rushing to have it finished for Spring 2007, it will have to be done in Fall of 2007. I am a "lifetime" student. I will never leave. It is the destiny that rests upon me. My only hope is that I either hit the jackpot or that B will make lots of money so that we don't have to eat ramen anymore. Oh well, at least I can take the computer/audio music class that I wanted to take. I'll just stick it out for one or one hundred more quarters.

Cupcake and Kimchee

2007-02-04T14:53:00.001-08:00

Last week, Nigel had a birthday. We really celebrated this time by going out with the little guy, and we invited his pal Pixel to come along. As a present, Pixel gave Nigel a birthday hump. As both dogs had their tongues sticking out, I could tell that they had a jolly time. Since they were a little hungry afterwards, we went and got them a doggie cupcake at Redhound on College Avenue. It was devoured, to say the least. We all tried a little piece of the cupcake, and it wasn't all that bad. In fact, it tasted like a vegan cookie. I have had one of the those before.... next time, I'll just give it to my dog.

Last night, I made Kimchee Jii-gae for some friends of ours. As much as I like the stuff, in my almost 30 years of eating it, I still cannot get used to the stink it leaves in my refrigerator. At times, it can smell like a bad fart mixed with rotting food. (Well, pretty much like a fart that smells like something has been rotting *up there*.) That's why I really prefer the fresh kimchee over the older/fermented kind. I am super lucky that my husband likes the stuff. I have had roommates complain about it many a times. You also know when it *leaves* you because the smell just so, um, original. AAHHHH, for the love of fermented, pickled, spicy, cabbage. mmmmm.......

Berkeley Crap House

2007-01-27T09:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Nigel's first birthday. We are planning on going to the Montclair Malt Shop to get him some Frosty Paws. We actually celebrated by going to Thai food... hehe. No really, we went to dinner at the Berkeley Thai House, and it was a bit disappointing. It was definitely a busy night, so we were okay about them not refilling our waters or even checking in on us. But while I was still eating, they dropped the bill on our table. So, B politely asked if we could actually order some dessert. The woman replied, "Sorry no, we need this table." I was a little pissed. I was pissed because we were there for no more than twenty minutes..... B and I eat pretty fast, especially when we're starving. Since I am a dessert fiend, I would have inhaled the freakin' thing in no more than five minutes, TOP. I am not that particular when it comes to restaurants, but I will say that if one denies me dessert, I will never go back there again.

So, Berkeley Thai House, poo on you. I hope you shit yourself.

owwiieee

2007-01-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

Along with a million other people, I decided to join a gym for 2007. How cliche is this? haha.... well, i really need to make this damn resolution stick, dammit! so, i signed up for 12 sessions with a personal trainer so that I wouldn't give up so easily this time. LET ME TELL YOU..... she kicks my ass in gear so hard, that saying that I feel like I got hit by a truck is merciful! ow, ow, ow... But alas, this is something that I need. Yes, yes, yes.... it is something that I need.

School is a little overwhelming this quarter. (trying to be polite.) I added an evening class that I surprisingly enjoy, so I do not mind that. It's my conducting class that I want to get out of oh-so-desperately! I do not mind the work, (even though it is taking up more time that I had hoped for, and wish I could just concentrate on my thesis), it's that I really do not like it!!! I am not sure if this is very bad for me to say being in my field, but I can't help it. I admit it, I give up, I DON't LIKE iT!! It is unfortunate because I like the teacher, know that he is very good, and should feel good that I am learning from such a great teacher. But seriously folks, not fun for me. I know, I'm terrible.... call me names, I don't give a flying fuck. I just hate it. Doesn't help that my learning disabilities (which I thought were in the past... that is, until this course), is making it a more arduous process. Knowing now how much more work I will need to put in compared to the average student is driving me bonkers. (hmm... that there folks, was just a passive-aggressive confession. oh well, who reads this thing anyway.) Bah. Well, I've come this far without mentioning it, so whatever. I'll just bear with the fucking thing. Once again, BAH, BAH, BAH!!!

My goodness, what a rant. On a good note, the stuff I came up with during winter break for my composition was crap. But, actually knowing that it was crap confirms my own hesitations toward it. I can move on, fix it, and get back on track. I was a bit derailed during that break. Always after my lesson, I am on this incredible high and feel so inspired. Let's try and avoid major crashes, shall we? Phew!

no control

2007-01-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

I have lost control. I am becoming more and more obsessed with my dog. There used to be a time when I rolled my eyes when I saw dogs with clothes on. (Well, I still do that when they are completely over the top.) For Christmas, Nigel received a little jacket from friends J & S, and I just can't get over how darn cute it is. It is also perfect because it protects him from the rain. (These single coat dogs are wimps.)

Unfortunately though, he ate poop the other day. Luckily, he found out that he didn't like it, and tried to spit it out. Despite the fact that we rinsed his mouth, brushed his teeth, sprayed doggy mouth wash, and gave him a parsley bone, I still cannot bring myself to let him lick me. Actually, his breath has never smelled better! But the whole thing was a little psychologically damaging. So, poo-mouth here, is trying to figure out what's wrong with us. We'll have to get over it soon, i guess.

here goes

2007-01-02T23:06:00.000-08:00

i don't think i have ever reflected on any year as much as i have for this one. 2006 has been a year for beginnings and endings for me. as painful as some of the events were, i look forward to 2007 as a stronger person. these past couple days especially, have opened my eyes to a lot of bull shit that i will not allow this year. it really is too bad that sometimes a tragedy is what makes people wake up. and fucking hell, why does it have to be so tragic.

the biggest realization for me this past year, was the fact that i acknowledged that i am not a verbal person. i am not a smooth talker, a socialite, nor can i keep up many conversations. and nor do i care anymore. i am the ultimate bumbling bee. but now, it doesn't bother me because i realize that i communicate better in writing, (in both forms). this may be a trait that seems a bit small and trivial, but it really did open a shit load of a can of worms for me. so for 2007? it will be exciting to see how it goes. as sad as this year may have ended, it was the ultimate punch in the face that was highly overdue.

so here goes:

+ for B: keep on rockin'.
+ for D: don't worry, you'll find it.
+ for I : you don't know it yet, but you're a miracle.
+ for me: bzzzzzzzzzz............

gorilla days

2006-12-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

ring, ring

2006-12-04T19:41:00.000-08:00

I went to the SF Symphony on friday night. During the crucial (and of course, dead soft) part of the piece, some one's cell phone rang. $%^**#&, !@#$, %$#$*(#)!*&#@!@#(&%#(*$&!@*&#^@#&^!@#$%!!!!!! The conductor stopped, composed himself and the musicians, and started over.

My question is, why do people even bring their damn cell phones into the building in the first place?

boo!

2006-10-30T21:40:00.000-08:00

has this month just flown by? in my book, october never existed this year. but apparently, we are all celebrating the end of it. i had a little get together over the weekend, and we had a jam packed evening of eating, pumpkin carving, pumpkin seed roasting, pumpkin contest, drinking, taboo, drinking, and drinking. well, i know i drank a wee too many. had to share this lovely picture though. one party-member came as a crazy, cat lady. she also brought kitty litter... which we all ate. it's cake, pudding, and tootsie rolls. yummmmmm..... cat shit.

falling over fall

2006-10-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

Summer is over, and I am incredibly sad by it. But, I have a feeling that this last year of school will be a memorable one. Actually, I'm still contemplating on spending another year in grad school so that I can take a couple courses that I am super interested in. At any rate, you have to check out this jewelry designer that I have become friends with. She designs the most incredible jewelry which is original in design, and absolutely beautiful when you put it on. I strongly recommend checking out blue wild indigo.

Fall is definitely my favorite season. It always tends to get a little warmer in the beginning of it around here, and then cools off soon after. Nothing much is really happening otherwise.... well, nothing that I'd share on this blog. I am desperately trying to think of a good costume for my favorite holiday this month.

three corona's

2006-09-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a cheap date. I just had three Corona's with pizza tonight and I can honestly say that I'm drunk. Not pissed drunk, but pretty good drunk. So, I came up just now and opened my email. Here is what I found. I just laughed my fucking ass off for like 20 minutes straight. I hope you can enjoy the same after three Corona's. Doubt it.... 'cause I'm a cheap date.

lots of paint

2006-09-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

We finally put something on one of our many blank walls. We have lived here for over a year, and we still have barely anything on our walls. So, we decided to paint our own paintings on canvas so that we could save money. I have had my canvas for a year, and I decided to un-earth the thing and give it a home. I also picked something simple so that I knew I couldn't mess it up too badly. Of course, I got the idea from a picture, but hey, I ain't sellin' it. Picking two colors has been pretty economical as well. But it did take a lot of paint to cover the thing. It also took a couple coats as well. Each panel is 30 x 40 inches, so they are pretty good in size. I have an idea for my next painting, and want to make it on a huge canvas. Thing is, I don't think I will have much time anymore since school will be starting soon.

another thing... I am saving up for a real camera. I can't take digital anymore, and I really hate the quality of digital. I'm glad I have one already, but it doesn't compare to the real thing. These pics are super blurry! Can't... hold... hand... still! bah!

little miss sunshine

2006-08-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

The hubster and I went out to a dinner and movie last night. We saw "Little Miss Sunshine" at the Bay Street theaters. I must say, it's been quite some time since I've seen a movie where I laughed out loud. I loved it, and we both fell in love with the characters.

Today, we loaded the Windows platform onto my Mac Mini. It was definitely strange to see Windows on my MAC!! But successfully, it downloaded and we are stoked. I almost feel like my Mac has been violated, but everything is working fine. I'm pretty happy with my Mac Mini, and even more stoked that I can run all the programs I need on it. Including Windows programs!!

I've started up my Pilates kick again. I worked with Pilates when I was getting geared up for my wedding, and lost 15 pounds. Three years later, my body has not gained weight in pounds, but it has lost what I worked on and now is in flab mode. So, I started this week, and promised myself that I would do this at least 5 times a week. I did start a power walk/light jog thing, but then my coughing came back. ACK! gotta keep that damn pneumonia at bay, man. I really didn't realize that it was as bad as it was until now. Oh well, live and learn. At any rate, my body aches, my butt, stomach, arms, and thighs are hurtin'. It feels pretty damn good.

midnight overdrive

2006-08-16T17:54:00.000-07:00

Last night, we went to bed at 11:00pm. I thought that I was tired, but my eyes were wide open. I felt like I had ten freakin' cups of coffee right before bed, and my mind was running a million miles a minute. This was surely a night where I could not stop thinking. Suddenly, at about midnight, I heard this awesome figure in my head. I played around with it to see where it could go, and then realized that it was something I could grab on to. I got out of bed as quietly as I could, and went downstairs to my piano. Too bad I wasn't in my own studio (a dream I will have some day!!), but I wrote down the motives and ideas down. I had the soft pedal down and tinkered around a little while trying to play as quietly as I could. Didn't go to bed until 2:00am, but damn well worth it!

happy birthday

2006-08-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

My birthday was last week, and for the first time, it lasted the entire week. Funny thing is, is that I really hated celebrating my birthday in the past. My parents had graciously left a bad taste in my mouth about my birthday when they claimed that I was too old to have birthday parties. I was seven years old at that time. Since then , birthdays and holidays were just plain BAD. There were many X-mas holidays where I was at home alone while the parents were gone on vacation. There were many birthdays where I would play at home alone in the back yard with imaginary friends... mostly dirt. All in all, they weren't that great. The bad taste festered into a truly hateful cynicism towards my birthday. When I confronted my mother about the fact that we did not need to celebrate her upcoming birthday, she replied, "Kids aren't supposed to have birthdays....adults are." Oh, tis, tis, tat, tat, bullshit, bullshit. But, I had to laugh and just shrug if off by thinking, "that's just her. Always need to play it in her favor."

Over the years, (especially being with the hubster), the negative affiliation towards birthdays and holidays has slowly subsided. This year, it was really quite special. It started with dinner with friends, then another dinner, and another dinner, a day at the Nob Hill Spa, and ended with a brunch. I know that all birthdays won't be like this one, but it was pretty damn nice. A fantastic week indeed, and was even more special since this has been a challenging year. It's a feeling of rejuvenation and all things new. Time to get my ass back on the train and get a move on.

sunburn norcal

2006-07-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Temperatures were ridiculously high this past weekend. Who says that global warning is a fallacy? To get away from the heat, we went out to Bunker hill. It was about 78 degrees there with a cool ocean breeze.... what heat wave? We hiked around and looked at all the army bunkers from the 30's. It was pretty cool at first, then it got a little freaky when we walked through this long, dank, tunnel, with horseshit in it. The beach was crowded, but still beautiful. Nigel even ran towards the waves and started having one of his schizophrenic episodes.

Sunday, we escaped to the Emeryville green. It seems like it is still an East Bay secret, though it's been around for a while. Temperatures were a lot cooler there as well, but I accidentally laid out on the grass a bit longer than I wished. Nonetheless, I got burnt (and I rarely get burned), and I'm downing advil to kill the pain. The hubster didn't get any tint of color there... which is weird because he is white as can be. Anyway, as someone exclaimed, I was very stupid, stupid, stupid.

Composing has been all over the place. It has been ideas here and there, notes scattered, not organized, and pretty much a mess on the piano. But just last night, I finally came up with a theme. Not just a musical thought, but a thought and feeling in itself. It will be written for piano, cello, violin, and will describe something very personal. I even came up with a title, but thought it was too cliche to attach to the music. I may revert to a generic one, but not sure yet. In early June, I looked forward to summer break, but didn't realize the battles that I would encounter, both personal and with others. At first, I felt hopeless and rushed to grab the white flag. Then I realized that there are no quick fixes to anything. So instead, I have taken a couple steps backwards. Try again and let some things go.

I am very relieved though, that Pigpen is coming to town next month. I haven't seen her since our friend's wedding last year. Pigpen always gives it to me straight. So hopefully, she can straighten me out! and why the name Pigpen? if you meet her, just look at her feet. Even after showers, they just become that way. The hubster was amazed by this anomaly when he first saw it with his own eyes.

military cut

2006-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

Nigel got a military haircut on Tuesday. I think he was a little down about it, but hey, I keep telling him that it's just hair. Although, I think the cut not only cut his fur, but also some of his brain. Last night at puppy jr high, he was the brat from hell. Or, he has dog ADD. We couldn't even get his butt to sit down.

Although I love my little pup, I am a concerned parent. I believe that our little guy has reached his maximum intelligence capacity. As we teach him one new trick, he forgets the other. It gets squished out of his brain as new material comes in. He is very lucky that he is still cute! ;)

World Cup was on Sunday and we had a little gathering of folks. Although Italy seemed to be the favorite, we were rooting for France. It would have been a better retribution for Zidane if he had just held his temper after the titty twister. If they had just won the World Cup and then afterwards, head butted the Italian dude, all would have ended well. At any rate, we're a little bummed out that it's all over now. Until next time.... four more years!!

Cheeseborger, cheeseborger, cheeseborger

2006-07-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

The hubby and I just got back from Chicago this past weekend for his sister's wedding reception. The reception was at her new In-law's home in Belvidere, Illinois (about an hour away from Chicago). About 200 hundred people showed up and there was a beer truck, a DJ, four different kinds of barbequed meats, and massive illegal fireworks. Plus, the twin nephews got drunk off an alcoholic fountain punch and had instant hangovers. Everyone was in their kilts again, but w/out the fancy shirts this time.... it was hot and humid.

I have never been to the midwest before, and I must say that it was a bit of an eye-opening experience. As much fun as we had there with the two families, I must say that I am glad to be back at home. I am a total wimp when it comes to humid weather, and I love being around hills, mountains, and the ocean!!! Plus, I love vegetables and fresh produce. The politics is a lot different, and I can't tell you how many American flags we saw over there. The cherry on top was when we passed by a home with the American flag painted on their entire two car garage. So, I made sure I didn't bring up politics with ANYONE. I just realized even more, that we live in a bubble. Other than that, the it was great fun and was only sometimes awkward to be the only Asian person around.

Our little guy, Nigel, had to stay home and was he stayed with the hubby's co-worker who has three dogs. Nigel now has a girlfriend named Bella. She is older, but they weigh the same. And damn! We missed him like crazy!! This was the first time that we traveled and was worried about anything at home.

Chicago was a lot bigger than I expected it to be. I guess I'm just used to little San Francisco. The people there were great, and I was just fascinated with the Chicago accent. We went to Billy Goat's Tavern, where the "Cheeseborger" skit from SNL was taken from. I ordered a single Cheesburger and of course it was replied with, "Double's better, double for you." I didn't argue, just ate my double cheese with pickles.

I'm so glad to be home though. I love our weather out here, I love our food, and I love the diversity of people and culture. Though, I do not love the cost of homes. We looked at some of the real estate out in Rockford and DAMN, we could have bought a freakin' mansion w/the money we spent on our little condo here. Oh well, it's all about location, I guess.