The Family Gift

September was a weird month. I went to the doctor because I threw up blood, and damn, that hurt. Figured out it was acid reflux, so I got some pills for that. The doc also wanted me to get a blood test done, so I asked her if I could also get my glucose test done since Diabetes runs in our family. It was a good thing I dragged B along with me because I passed out... twice. The second time, the lab lady came out and gave me two packets of Splenda. I looked at them and said, "Ew, no. I'm okay." B said, "No, you're not. Eat it."

The test came back, and it wasn't good. So, I had to take another test. B came with me again, and this time, we were armed with Gatorade and grape juice. I am borderline. I go back to the doctor tomorrow.

Although I knew that this day was most likely to come, I thought I could handle it pretty well. Surprisingly, it has been more difficult than expected. The more research I've done, the more freaked out I've become. On my father's side, both my grandparents died in their 60's from it, my aunt died two years ago, and the rest of my uncle's have it, including my skinny-ass dad. It is relentless. Changing my lifestyle has been difficult and frustrating.

Since so many people in the USA have diabetes, it seems like it's becoming as normal as having arthritis. Because of that, I don't think people take it as seriously as they should. I also think that because this disease is slow in showing it's effects, people think that what you can't see won't hurt you. Unfortunately, many wait until it is too late. I can't afford too late, but it's been hard to accept.

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I am a bit tired from being poked, pricked, and being told what to do. I do not accept this "family gift" happily, but at least I'll accept it knowingly. However, I will admit that before each meal, I say to myself, "This fucking blows."