Confidence vs. Jerk

Yesterday, I had an interesting discussion with a student composer (not from CSUH). I was kinda venting my frustration with some peoples egos and attitude. He then got into the topic that it's all related to confidence. Whether it be false or true confidence, I knew that it was pretty true. So then I thought, why can't people still be critical over his/her work and of others while still being respectful and (I hate to use this word) nice? Is it that they are really complete assholes, or that they are just socially retarded? He laughed at me.

"Nancy, you can't expect everyone to be nice to you. You can't expect people to not be socially retarded. Sometimes, being 'nice' might be portrayed as being weak."

"I'm not expecting everyone to be nice to me. I'm not in Strawberry Shortcake land here. It just seems a little lame to connect confidence with being an asshole. You know, there is a way to be confident and diplomatic.... without being socially retarded as well. Don't you think it's a cop out?" I said.

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But showing any signs of your lack of confidence will appear to others as you being weak or lazy," he replied.

(I had to chuckle here while I reminisced on how I used to work at my parents deli at the cash register when I was nine.)

"Well, I agree to some extent to your comment. It just seems so surface level for people to think that way. I guess."

"Maybe you are weak and lack confidence?"

"Go fuck yourself."


We laughed.